So I hear that the Rihanna interview on 20/20 reeled in astonishing ratings for the news show. I watched it online on Youtube because I couldn't catch it on TV that night. But unlike a probable large part of the audience, I didn't watch it because it was Rihanna and Chris Brown and it was the biggest celebrity gossip of the year. No sadly, I couldn't turn away because I feel a sad connection with what she went through. And it's not in a way in which anyone wants to feel connected to someone rich and famous.

It's soo true. Nobody, especially no woman wants to admit to domestic violence. Whether it was done to them or to someone close to them. It hurts all the same.

A very long time ago, I was in her shoes. The only thing I can happily report was that it was only one isolated incident and i was really not that physically harmed.  I just remember being very shocked, very surprised and very, very scared. In that moment he wasn't the person I thought I was in love with. And it's the emotional scars that really NEVER go away. It's one event that changes everything in your life and changes the person you are forever.  I can't even tell you how this has changed me because it's such a part of me that I know no other me. It's just imprinted. Always there in the back of your mind, the memory gets old but never fades and any little trigger will bring it all back to the surface. The interview really made me sad again.

I can't tell you how much I hate that when I dig deep into my memory banks such an ugly blemish scarred my life. Like everything else, you never think that it could or would happen to you. Till this day, I still can't believe it myself that I can relate to something like this. Not me, the happy-go-lucky-me, the lucky-in-life, lucky-in-love me. Not me. No way, no how. But yes, it did and it is still the hardest thing in my life to have to talk about. You are super embarrassed and super ashamed and in one moment its like you got booted into a select population that nobody ever wants to be identified with...the victim of DV. I hate everything about the term. It's a lonely place. For a long time I always wanted to hear that someone knew what I went through, that they understand. But at the same time, for them to understand me would have to mean that they went through the same ordeal and no, you never ever want to wish this on another person. So you don't talk about it, because if you did people can't help themselves but to feel sorry for you but you're not looking for sympathy. Just genuine understanding but you never get it.

But oddly, I don't hate him. Not even a little bit anymore. I actually did go back to him afterwards and no he never ever did anything close to that to me again. We are still friends and I know the man he is today could never do that to someone else again. I'm sure it scarred him as well. So I do believe people can change. But I couldn't say that I trusted him the same or any man for that matter. Strangely, sometimes I think this is part of the bond we share. It's not something we would really open want to tell someone else. So it becomes a shared secret and only he and I would know what it all means.

I think of it as something that we were meant to go through. He grew up fast after that and he took responsibility for what he did. We moved on and I continue to live a good life despite that scary day. I know what Rihanna and other women in her shoes went through and will go through for the rest of their lives. No amount of therapy could get a person past something like that but you learn to live your life despite it. You learn to be more selective in who you give your heart to and how to walk away when situations just don't feel right. It's not a skill I'm happy to advertise but it's something I can't help. But you learn to find peace.

With all the recent inundations of weddings and stork deliveries, it's easy to forget that it's also a time where news of break ups are also happening more and more frequently. There's nothing like hearing about yet another friend getting married that makes you evaluate your relationship situation quick. It's sad, but some couples don't pass that test.

I'm soo sad to hear it but one of the longest running couples I've known have ended their relationship. And from what I hear, it's absolute, permanent, finito and dunzo. It really came as a shock to most of us friends and family. That's the thing about being an outsider, you never really know what goes on behind closed doors. While they never were the picture perfect couple, but they always seemed happy together. The genuine kind. Nothing forced. It's going to take awhile for us to digest the fact that they decided to part ways.

And it concluded over one serious conversation and one simple but to the point statement of "I'm not happy with you anymore."

What do you do when the person you've invested "n" years of yourself and your life with suddenly tells you that when he is with you, he's not happy. When he's in your home with you watching tv, cooking dinner, sleeping that all the while he's doing it feeling miserable inside. There's no sense of further questioning. There's nothing much left to salvage. As much as other people can help make you happy and make happy memories with you, you must first and foremost be happy with yourself and your life and with those other people for happiness to be real and reciprocated. If you are not happy with yourself, you will never be happy with anyone else.

My wish in life has always been to be happy. With happiness everything else falls into place. I don't care to be filthy rich, to be strikingly beautiful, to be widely successful, all these are added pluses. The true wealth in life is living your life doing even the most mundane things with a sense of purpose and happiness that resonates from within my soul. It is the single most important thing.

I'm not going to be sad for my two friends who have chosen to do what feels right to them. I'm glad they ended it civilized and with a friendship safely intact. I hope they will go forward in life and truly find their true happiness. When you find it, you will know because nothing will compare.