Sometimes life crawls by at a snails pace and your life feels like a year's old stagnant water in a dirty leaf ridden pond.

A sudden gust of wind from the east sudden blows through and things take off before you even have time to blink. That's the tornado that has swept through. There's so much exciting things going on that I'm overwhelmed with the endless possibilities that could be. Life has always largely been a positive experience as far as I regard it, but I'm at a kind of happy state that I didn't really know could exist. I put a lot of plans on hold in the past 6-12 months because of work and my sister's wedding. But work has really grown on me and I'm much more comfortable than I was a few months ago. My sister's wedding was a wild success and she's happy and settling into her new mrs. identity. I really am happy for her because I know newly wed life is the best kind of life.

I'm ready to focus on myself again. Well as much of myself as part of a unit that consists of hun and I, of course. We just passed our two year anniversary. Today I was walking to the library (yes, I'm one of the few nerds left that still borrows books instead of buys) and honestly I just thought about him. I don't know why, but he seems to come up in my random thoughts a lot. A memory flashed through followed by a thought and I just had to smile a little even if people thought I must be crazy, smiling to myself for no reason in the middle of the street. Doesn't everyone need someone who makes them just a little crazy every once in awhile?

He doesn't just make me love and enjoy life, he makes me feel excited about living.

You know when you're out under a starry sky making all these crazy plans and everything is sooo perfect in your head. Imagine that things start to happen and dreams start coming true and plans starting getting carried out. You think back to that starry night where your dreams were young and now you finally know it wasn't ever a dream at all. It was part of your destiny, the beginning of what was always meant to happen. Deep stuff, huh? It makes everything that has happened in your life either really trivial or really meaningful.

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I once read a story that Gweneth Paltrow recalled about her first experience to Paris. She told a story of her father taking her to Paris when she was a still a child, just him and her. A father and daughter trip. He showed her the Paris he knew and loved and at the end of their trip, he asked her if she knew why of all the places in the world he wanted to take her here. She didn't know why. He told her he wanted her first trip to Paris to be with the man who would always, always love her. And he was that man. That was truly one of the most touching stories I've ever read. Read it here.

I know it's one of, if not the most romantic cliches in the world. I've been to enough places in the world now but I've always passed up Paris because I've been subconsciously saving it for the real deal because I want it to mean that much to me. However, I'm finally, finally going to experience Paris with the one man I hope would always, always, always love me and that I know I would always, always, always love.  It's most meaningful because it will likely be the last trip we take in awhile (more on why next time).

Thank you hun for making me reach new heights of exciting all the time. C'est le vie, mon amour!

I guess I was due for a life update.

I've been really busy. I mean full force busy, hence the lack of updates, inspirations, and thoughts. I finally learned that when you love what you do and are trying be good and get better in what you're doing it really leaves you with very little time for anything else. I still enjoy my job. It's stressful but it's very rewarding. I had a wonderful letter commending my work ethic written by a colleague for me. It meant so much and gave me such a strong sense of validation. I feel that I'm settling in at work and I'm getting into my little routine of prioritizing things. They are right, it just takes time. Time can help you get better as long as you're cut out for it. If you're not, you're always going to feel like you're playing catch up. It's probably one of the first things you need to figure out. Do you need more time or do you need to do something different?

My sister is getting married in less than a month. You can dilly dally as much as you want up until the last month. It's all crunch time from this moment on. Getting final dress fittings in, finalizing seating charts, tallying up RSVPs, planning out your wedding day itinerary. It's a mess and though marriage is great, I do not wish weddings upon my worst enemy. It's absolutely the most stressful day of your life! I'm so glad mine is done and over with. I get to watch others pull their hairs out instead now, while I keep my cool. Suckers!

Hun and I are really serious into this housing game. We've put in an offer and had to take one back and is now currently negotiating on another one. It's REALLY funny how your perspective changes with life. I remember when I first got married, I wanted a condo. I didn't want to shovel snow,  plumb, take out the garbage, rake leaves or sweep the sidewalk. I had watched my parents do it all my life growing up in our family home. I spent a long time trying to convince hun to see it from my perspective but we never saw eye to eye. My cousin got married and moved into her husband's beautiful Lexington apartment. They had a baby and then another one shortly after. After almost 5 years after getting married and having kids they sold it and found a one family in Queens. All she could talk to me about was this stupid backyard the girls can play in. I had a backyard growing up, it was paved with cement and sometimes greasy from my dad's car. Sometimes in the summers, my parents would buy a plastic pool and I'd go dipping in it with my sisters. But other than that, I never made much use of my backyard.

Then something called the biological clock happens. Don't laugh. It's a real condition. It's this little  sound in your womb that starts ticking so loud that you can no longer block it out anymore. I was in Chicago with hun and while we were doing a tour, the guide asked us how long we were married. Hun said "almost 2 years." The guide asked "Do ya have any children?" And hun answered "No, not yet. But we're planning to." I think I almost fell off my Segway at that point. It was the first time he ever acknowledged PUBLICLY that he was ready to start a family. Those few words were sweet music to my ears.

Would you believe ever since that trip, he's completely taking this house hunting thing 100x more seriously. I don't know if men have biological clocks too, but maybe it's like periods. Like how when a woman hangs out with another woman long enough, their periods sync. (It's true. It's been proven by me many of times...not to my enjoyment).

And I'd be damned, but would you believe it, that in the end one of the most important things to me now when looking for a home is that lucrative backyard/patio space.

Life has a way of sticking your foot in your mouth. Everything you thought you didn't want, thought you'd never need will always be the things that you covet in the end. I walk into a home and immediately my attention goes to the end of the house. I stand there for a few minutes and I close my eyes and try to imagine the sound of children's laughter as they enjoy their space in the open.

Suddenly I'm reminded of the backyard I grew up in. I remember now that I learned to ride my first bike there. My dad bought me a bike with training wheels and held onto me as I rode around in 20 circles. I fell off 2 minutes after he took those wheels off and after he patched me up, I got up and fell and rode and fell until I learned how to ride that bike. I remember scorching 99 degree summers and my parents would take the pool out and fill it to the top with icy cold water. My sisters and I would run in with our neon pink bathing suits and wouldn't jump out until our lips turned purple. I remember my brother had this electric jeep that my grandfather brought him when he was 4 or 5. He drove in reverse and parked just like my father did all over our backyard. I remember family barbeques, reunions, birthday parties, holiday parties, the most awesome cake fights, blasting music way into the night, and jumping fences playing tag. I remember when it was just my family, or my parents friends and then it was turned over to us and we in turned hosted our friends and their events there. I even remember the guys going up to the roof and dropping water bombs on us innocent girls on hot July 4th weekend. All these things happened in my parents backyard. Life happened there. Priceless memories were created there. How did I ever let myself nearly forget that? It wasn't a stupid backyard at all. Far from it actually.

I need something like that for myself. I want everything I had and everything I didn't have for my kids. And this one is a deal breaker.

It's funny how perspective changes. If you don't like what you see, you can try to change how you see it.  Or maybe just wait a little while. I'm sure life will change your mind. It almost always does. And hopefully by my next blog I'll be a first time home owner. wish me luck ; )